Another let down, another feeling of failure

Well, it's cycle day 3 today. I obviously didn't become pregnant last cycle, I tried everything under the sun and still got a negative test. For some reason this past cycle I thought for sure I conceived , I thought I had every symptom of pregnancy but in the end dear ol aunt flow came to visit. Now we won't be able to try again until jan, I am having another surgery dec 2nd where they are going to remove my left tube and clean out all the endometriosis. In jan we are going to do another round of clomid and IUI, praying it works this time! As hard is it is to think that we can't try again before surgery it's sort of nice to be able to just relax and not worrying about doing the BD at time of surge...it really does feel like having a second job when you struggle with infertility. There is so much involved, takes so much time planning and is emotionally draining. I will have this month to relax, gather my thoughts and be prepared for our round of IUI in Jan. pleases keep us in you prayers, we want this more than anything!


God bless

Almost time to start trying...AGAIN!!

Here we are again, CD10 almost time to start OPK's. Last month things were a little weird, I was feeling really different during my 2ww period. Aunt flow was a few days but we were back home in PA that I never thought to test. One morning I woke up with pain and cramps that I have never had with my period which lasted a few hours, suddenly I passed this mass then I finally had relief! I'm not sure if it was a miscarriage but it did feel similar to the one I had before :( Needless to say, here I am again trying all the tricks and tips I have received from other ladies TTC. I have been using the instead cups, Robitussin, pineapple and now this month I am adding the Pre-seed! From the first day I found out I was having trouble conceiving my husband and I decided that we would not let this affect out marriage. I am now feeling so very bad that I am not able to give him his very own child, it's becoming very stressful but we are working through it and he tells me that no matter what he will always love me! It's so hard to believe that my son will be 11 in  19 days ahhhhhhh where did the time go?! It feels like just yesterday that I was getting up for feedings, changing those diapers and just seeing/hearing his laugh made my heart smile! I will never give up hope of having another baby but if it doesn't happen I will always have my amazing son whom is my life, he will always be my little baby in my eyes! Sunday is the day to start trying again, I'm pretty excited...I am going to have positive thoughts this entire month (even when I feel like giving up)! So we shall see if this is our month **fingers crossed** and prayers!


Mommy in waiting!