Can you really relax when you are struggling with infertility?

Here I am again, I thought I was content with my decision of putting off the surgery but I'm having all sorts of mixed emotions right now =/ I feel like the longer I hold off on trying to conceive the worse off I will be in the end. If I don't have the surgery my RE won't allow me to have an IUI seeing how there really is no point since it would just kill the sperm or egg anyway. When I was at my last appt my DR had asked me if I just wanted to have both tubes removed that way I could jump right to IVF, I looked at her and said "absolutely not!, I believe in God and he does work miracles" I guess if I don't have surgery this month then I will be starting the endometriosis diet along with using the instead cups. It's starting to really feel a little overwhelming but I know that I can get through this like I have everything else in life. Some people getting irritated with me always talking about my infertility, well unless you have experienced what I have in the past 3 years then you have NO clue what it feels like. To those of you who say don't loose faith, don't give up...trust me I never loose faith, every month I always have that one ounce of faith that perhaps I will see 2 lines but once only 1 line pops up I feel defeated. I know one day it will happen, I just wish my one day were now! God is great!