Just one of those days

Well today is CD1 The IUI wasn't a success :( I have been asked, are you ok, how are you taking it? To be honest I really wasn't let down, I was actually expecting it to be negative. I know with all my problems that it was slim to none that I would become pregnant. My husband and I wanted this in the worst way and refuse to give up. We were going to do another round in Jan before he left but thought it was the best decision to have my surgery then do 2 more rounds once he gets home from deployment. Between now and the time he comes home I will work on loosing weight, getting my back fixed and having the surgery that way I am 100% healthy to start fresh. This has been a roller coaster ride, really messed with my head. I felt so moody throughout the 2ww and there were days where I was convinced that I was pregnant then other days where I wished my period would just come because I knew I wouldn't conceive. People say "you should be thankful for the one child you have" I am truly blessed to have my son, he was and is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I have always wanted a big family and would also like for my husband to have children of his own, therefore I will not stop until we have our miracle! I would like to thank those who kept us in your thoughts and prayers, without the good lord through this I wouldn't have made it. I have solely relied on God, I knew even if it wasn't medically possibly I knew he could make it possible! I can't wait for the chance to try again, I am ready for this and it will happen...I just know it! Once again thanks to all, we really appreciate everything! I will keep everyone posted as to what our plans are in the future!

God bless