Cd? ummm I'm not counting anymore! I'm done counting the days, I'm done wondering if that little cramp I just had is a sign of pregnancy, I'm done running to the bathroom every 5 min to see if AF came to visit...I'M DONE!!! I refuse to let infertility stress me out any longer, it can really mess with one's mind, cause depression and total withdraw from the world around you. I can't say that it's any easier to see babies or people that are pregnant, I am very happy for those who are pregnant or have their new addition...it's a blessing either way! My husband is the best! he has kept me sane through all of this and is the best little nurse after all my surgeries :) needless to say, I never felt any pain for days after the surgery haha. He tells me all the time " hunny, it will happen God has this in his plan for us" He's so amazing, I have never met someone so understanding and positive as him! I will take this time while he's deployed to better myself by loosing weight and meditating. I go see the Dr. soon for a follow up and to schedule an appt for surgery to have my left tube removed. The Dr says this may increase our chances for our next 2 IUI's *fingers crossed* I am so lucky to have others who understand infertility and the struggles you face everyday, they know what it's like to feel let down every time your cycle starts again it really hurts ugh. Sometimes I hear of people saying "why does she complain about this all the time" or they think they can't talk to me anymore because they are pregnant and think it will hurt my feelings. Of course I talk about my infertility a lot, it's a part of me and I feel like I have the right to talk about how I feel. I don't say anything when I hear you talking about your kids all the time! As for feeling bad for me because your pregnant...hunny please! I never envy anyone, God has a plan for everyone and if it means me not having another baby then that's his plan. I do not sit around and dwell on what others have, so please do me a favor and not feel bad for me! I do not post these to my facebook for attention or pity, I do it to let others know the struggle I go through and what to do when one deals with infertility. Thanks to everyone who supports us, you all are a true blessing!
Thank you Lord for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace.
Amen! Gob Bless
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