And....it's on hold once again

I am very sad that I have to put my fertility treatments on hold once again. The reasoning this time around is my choice but believe I am making the right one. I have trying to find a good job in this area since I moved here and now finally a fantastic opportunity has come my way and it's been a tough decision on what to do. I know I only have a short period of time before my husband deploys again to go through treatments but I think I made the right choice. I've been really upset not knowing what to do and my husband being so dear and sweet says " hunny, maybe you should pray about it". I did, and believe that everything will fall into place! I think I am going to go on lupron until my husband is back from deployment, hoping that will help with the spread of my ENDO and by then I will have enough time at my job that they will allow me time off for the surgery. I sure hope I'm making the right decision, I know everything will work out in the end!! God is great!!!

Back on the road to having our miracle!

Well...I guess it's been awhile since I last posted a blog since my husband was deployed we decided to take a little break from treatments. I took those 6 months to better my self and in that time I lost 45 pounds which I feel so much better physically and mentally. During our last visit in December the Dr said that I am going to have to have my left tube removed due to it being filled with toxic fluid, I will be seeing him again to have another ultra sound to double check it and then it's surgery time. This will make my 3rd surgery, I'm nervous but I am willing to do whatever it takes to have our little bundle of joy. I have many uneducated people tell me "it will happen when you least expect it" or the most annoying on "RELAX" grrrrr how much more relaxed can I get?? This has been an ongoing struggle for 3 years now and it has been very stressful, frustrating and depressing to say the least. When I was first diagnosed with stage 4 endo I couldn't stand seeing pregnant people let alone be in the same room with them. I have since moved past that point in my life, I was never mad at them for being preg I just always questioned "why me"? I know realize that God is in control and he will one day bless us with our baby it's only a matter of time. I'm so ready to start treatments again, I'm ready to give this 110% and ready to see that line that says we are pregnant. I don't think I have ever wanted something so bad than having a child with my husband, I want to give him the best gift ever and that would be our own child together. We have 2 more go's with IUI then it's off to IVF =/ So I guess it's back to the calendar, counting CD and then the injections etc It's all worth it to me, God id great and he knows how bad we want this!